Pumpkin Spice Latte: A H.I.M. Buying Guide

Date:  16 October 2019

QIC: Donut

Pax: Merit Badge, Tea Party, Tombstone, Franks, Lightning, Penny Lane, Catamount

During a workout there is often pedantic mumble chatter about “what she said”, or fashion choices, or counting, or beer.  However, if one listens closely, one will occasionally come upon a nugget of wisdom that should be…. nay…. that demands to be shared with the larger community.  Today, Franks shared just such a nugget, which I will get to in a moment.  First, let’s get the workout going……..

Eight pax dared to brave the warm temperatures and light rain to become better, stronger leaders.  YHC had a couple of options given the weather and though there was no torrential downpours to contend with, YHC chose the dryer option.

Warm-up:

SSH x20,  Imperial Walkers x20, Hillbillies x20, Moroccan Nightclub x20, arm circles

Mosey to the picnic shelter….

We will participate in a 4-Corners tabata-style workout, with 1 minute of AMRAP exercises followed by 10-15 sec of rest as we move to the next corner.  BUT FIRST, I wanted to address the exercise abomination masquerading as a Bobby Hurley.  For the past several months, I have seen so many variations of the Bobby Hurley, that I had to go the the F3 Nation website to make sure I wasn’t judging in error.  Alas, I have been judging correctly, and what I have seen would make Bobby Hurley roll in his grave if he were, in fact, deceased.

Bobby Hurley was a point guard for dook back in the day.  He popularized the whole slapping of the floor while on defense gag that current dook teams continue to do in a futile attempt to whip themselves up into a defensive fury.  While it does get the body-painted Cameron students into a dork frenzy, the true effectiveness on dook’s defensive performance is still unproven.

Anyhoo, the proper Bobby Hurley is to squat, slap the ground with both hands, then jump up while making a shooting motion (basketball, not duck hunting).  I have seen many pax perform a variation of this exercise that resembled John Travolta in his iconic Saturday Night Fever dance scene.  If you go this route in my presence, I will mock you mercilessly.  The more you know….

Back to the workout:

Tabata 1: Bobby Hurleys, Smurf Jacks, Plank Jacks, Imperial Squat Walker.  Repeat 3x.

Tabata 2: American Hammer, Burpies, low plank hold, dips.  Repeat 3x.

Mosey back to the flag.

Moleskin: Kudos to Merit Badge for earning his Eagle Scout ranking recently.  He worked at the Shriners location to beautify their grounds.   Check it out at the next fish fry.  Strong work by all.  I said in the beginning that if you weren’t smoked at the end of the workout, you have only yourself to blame.  To a man, each pax looked at themselves in the mirror and gave extra effort.  We did have a plank-jack correction, but I won’t name names.

Nugget of Wisdom:  Franks is a Pumpkin Spice Latte connoisseur.  Recently, I even heard him refer to the coffee drink (favored at this time of year by Ugg boot wearing sorority sisters and Karens all over the world) as a PSL.  Apparently, that is what those in the know call it… PSL.  As a H.I.M., we have certain standards and public images to uphold.  One can not just go get a PSL after a workout without getting sympathy looks from the barista.  Franks informed us that to avoid this public shame, a H.I.M. must order a normal coffee drink and a PSL.  Then you throw the coffee drink away so that you can enjoy your PSL without judgment.  By ordering the coffee, the line behind you and the barista just assumes that you want the coffee, and the PSL is being purchased for someone in Ugg boots.  There you have it.  If you have any further questions, please reach out to Franks.

-Donut

SMACK TALK!

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