Men’s Health = Fake News

20 Apr 2018

QIC: Donut

PAX: Sunshine, Tombstone, Minecraft (Raleigh AO), Stiffler, Tubbs, Stiffler’s Mudder, Nomad, The Mounty

Sometimes, in an effort to get creative, one relies on a catchy visual or audio cue.  Just a quick hook may be all it takes, before you roll with it… never once testing your theory or critically thinking about your new creation.  Not once considering possible outcomes outside of your 3 beer goggles.  So you get lazy.  And you roll with it.  The outcome, if you are lucky, can be true art (think Jackson Pollock or Rapper’s Delight from the Sugarhill Gang).  However, if you are neither a creative genius nor especially lucky, you end up with a disappointing mess.  While I do not portend to suggest that YHC’s entire Q was wasted, YHC did learn that one should test out new exercises before employing them in a serious workout… even if it is highlighted in Men’s Health.  With that we will begin our backblast….

Nine pax arose before the sun to get their pain on (mostly).  It was dark, breezy, and chilly, but YHC knew how to get the blood flowing.  Prime numbers and a couple of new exercises were the focus for this morning’s gloom.

Warm-up: To get moving quickly, Brass Monkey (Beastie Boys) was played.  SSH until you hear “monkey” then hit the deck and to a merkin.  That’s 27 or so merkins if you arrive to the work out on time and you are able to actually get all the monkeys correctly.

Mosey via Indian-run over to the yard in front of the art center.  Here is where we will explore the space.

The Thang:

We will start with a round of 11’s

Far side:  Dead-stop burpies (that is a burpie where you touch your chest to the ground and lift your hands off the ground before pushing back up).

Near side:  The Wounded Angel – Lie on your right side, legs straight.  Bend your left leg across your body and extend both arms straight out on your right side, seal clap style.  This is the starting position.  With your right shoulder and hip planted, rotate your left arm up and behind you.  That is 1 rep, now repeat on the opposite side.  (Note:  I was perusing my recent Men’s Health and ran across an article called “NO BULL WORKOUT, PART 1.  BUILD YOUR BEACH BODY.  Want a six-pack and big biceps by summer?”   “Why, yes I do” I thought.  “It would be crazy not to include part of this NO BULL WORKOUT into my Q. ”  Not only was this particular exercise bullshit, but we wallowed around on the ground like a bunch of talentless modern dancers.  Seriously, the only thing anyone got out of this was a lower back and shoulder stretch.  It turns out that after reading the article in its entirety, I read the fine print that indicated that the initial parts of the workout were actually stretches.  Lesson learned.)

The next thang:  Hop the wall for some 3 corners.  At each station, we will perform 7 reps of the given exercise and repeat the cycle 3 times.

  • Exercise 1:  Peter Parker merkins
  • Exercise 2: Dips
  • Exercise 3:  Peter Parkers Balls, or something like that.  Sir Mix-A-Lot taught us this new torture on Monday.  Hand stand with balls to the wall, then alternate knees down toward your elbow.  It sucks, but was much easer than it was after 300 merkins on Monday.

Indian run back to the flag, with a Jail Break to finish.

Moleskin: Tubbs has some wheels.  Talked smack the whole time during the jail break and beat everyone.  Strong effort by all.  Convergence at WB tomorrow.  NO IRON ISLAND.

COT:  Prayers for Rx, Nomad’s girlfriend’s mother, the pax that will be doing the GoRuck Heavy today.

Thanks for letting me lead.

-Donut

 

 

 

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